The Listening Episode

I planned the perfect second date. Scavenger hunt. Hours of work. Genuinely proud of the whole thing.

What I didn't know, because it was our second date and I didn't know her yet, was that her personal nightmare is being embarrassed in public. I had designed the perfect date for me and presented it to her.

She tried. She smiled. And then I noticed her hands shaking.

Stephen Covey said most people don't listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply. That was me. I knew what I was going to say next, but I hadn't heard what she was telling me. 

She's my wife now, so it worked out.

Real listening, the kind that changes things, requires you to set down your own agenda and receive what the other person is communicating. Not just the words. The whole body. 

I'm still working on it. This episode is about that.